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Self-care and social media - Barnstorming on an Invisible Segway [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Marissa Lingen

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Self-care and social media [Jan. 25th, 2017|05:18 pm]
Marissa Lingen
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Last weekend I was at ConFusion in Detroit, which I told you I would be. And it was lovely and I had a great time, hurrah. I will probably want to talk about some things inspired by the panels I was on or witnessed, but that’s in a little bit. Right now I wanted to say: I do not have the passwords to my social media accounts on my laptop, and on my phone I only have the password to my Twitter.

This is deliberate, and I wanted to talk about it this week especially. Not being on Facebook for the weekend of the inauguration was definitely what is known in technical terms as a really great thing. But even if it hadn’t been the inauguration specifically, I find that taking breaks from social media periodically is a good idea. It helps me to see what I might be taking for granted otherwise. It gives me mental space. When I’m traveling, I can’t default to doing the laundry/unloading the dishwasher/checking Slack/taking out the recycling/checking Facebook/etc. I have some separation from all of that. I try to be sparing in my use of Twitter at those times.

This is hard for people in my life to remember. “Did you see the picture of–” No. I didn’t. Because I’m not on social media when I’m traveling. “I really loved X’s post about Y, did you–” No. Not on social media. It’s not up to other people to keep track of my computer quirks. But what their comments do is remind me of how submerged in social media I can be on a regular day. How obvious it is that someone will have seen the picture of and read the post about. Because that’s what we do.

It’s not wrong that that’s what we do. Social media is not bad. But taking it for granted, never taking a moment to asses its role in our lives–well, I can’t think of anything that’s a good plan for.

Maybe if I had kept reading social media all weekend, the sheer volume of political speech going on at the moment would have crept up on me. I’m part of that; I have been more overtly political in public social media in the last year than ever before. But suddenly the Twitter feed that used to be book release/politics/cute dogs/science news/personal yammering is politics/books maybe/politics/politics/politics/oh please give me some cute dogs/politics. Should I curate it differently? Spend less time on it? I don’t know. But whatever the answer is, I should be aware of the shift in balance. I should arrive an answer that is conscious of where and how political energy/focus is expended and not confuse it for happy fluffy things or interactions with friends just because it’s coming through the same channel those used to (and may again).

Occasional breaks help me do that. And for me it helps that they are coincidental: not me sitting down with a schedule and saying, “This is the right time and the right duration,” but chance handing me the opportunity to reevaluate. Maybe it’ll work that way for you. Maybe it won’t. But I think we have a strong cultural bias at the moment that staying up to the minute on news is what smart, engaged people do, and I don’t think it has to be like that for every single minute. Sometimes rest, perspective, and a chance to look for depth are called for.

Originally published at Novel Gazing Redux


[User Picture]From: asakiyume
2017-01-26 12:35 am (UTC)
Wow, that *is* Ow-y! I take offense on your behalf because telling a story in a transmit-fashion (as when you post a blog entry) isn't the same thing as actually *talking* about it. [ETA: that's a tangential reaction to my main point, but just, wow, I can't imagine being told not to talk about something I'd covered on my blog! And, for my own part, I'm often interested in hearing more about whatever-it-is that someone's discussed on their blog.)

Edited at 2017-01-26 12:36 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: mrissa
2017-01-26 12:37 am (UTC)
I have also noticed that a great many non-blogging old friends do not notice that "I have read your blog" and "we have interacted" are not the same thing. So they end up acting more like fans of mine than friends, which...it's not that I have stopped liking them, it's that their me-related effort is exerted in a way that does not reach me.
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[User Picture]From: asakiyume
2017-01-26 12:51 am (UTC)
Yeah... what real friendship is seems to elude a lot of people. I don't know if it's partly that they're satisfied with forms or... I don't know.
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