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Marissa Lingen

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using my words [Mar. 6th, 2014|10:07 pm]
Marissa Lingen
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I have been trying to find a way to say this that will not make the wrong people–which is really pretty much anyone–feel like I am guilt-tripping them.

I am pretty short of social/chatty email these days except for a very small number of the most usual suspects. While things may have turned a corner in terms of getting adjusted to this med, I am still not to the point where things are what one might call “good” or more to the point “highly functional and able to do things like drive and arrange for social outings and stuff.” So if you are a friend of mine and find that you have the time/energy for social/chatty email, that would be a good and useful thing to do. I would appreciate it.

This is the sort of request that is very hard to phrase for two reasons. The first is that I really, really do not want to nag or guilt-trip. Really. The second is that when you ask something like this and then do not get it, that is not always easy. And I have had the “I would like to hear from you more”/”yes I could do that” conversation with a couple of friends in the past and then not heard from them more, like, at all, and that was with individuals who knew that I was talking to them specifically and personally; a more general request is deliberately not meant to be a burden on anyone (anyone! really!) and yet leaves open the possibility that everyone will be unable to do an email blathering about what they read or what they are thinking about ancient Greek wind instruments or what line of paint color names they have thought of next, and will hope that someone else will take their turn at being helpful.

Still. Things have gotten enough better that I can say that this is a thing that might help make this next bit a little less rough. So I am saying.

Originally published at Novel Gazing Redux


[User Picture]From: thanate
2014-03-09 02:33 am (UTC)
I have possibly used up most of my socially chatty e-mail abilities for this week-or-possibly-month comparing notes on 1-year-olds with my friend whose son just turned 1 today, and besides I have not got your e-mail. And partly this is because while I can do chatty e-mails when I get into the right mode, there is not a lot of time when I ought not to be doing things that are either a little more baby-inclusive or useful. But a) I will congratulate you upon your renewed abilities to drive and suchlike (yay!) and b) if you would like to message me your address, I can send you a real actual piece of paper with something on it. Possibly not too chatty & lettery, but with silly pictures and/or something of interest.
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[User Picture]From: mrissa
2014-03-09 02:37 am (UTC)
I do not have renewed abilities to drive. But I will send you my address anyway.
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[User Picture]From: thanate
2014-03-09 02:41 am (UTC)
I misread that entirely; very sorry.
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[User Picture]From: thanate
2014-03-09 03:28 am (UTC)
& now my brain is composing socially chatty e-mails to you while I need to go to sleep so I can go back to not having a cold. Brains.

We shall see if any content survives to when I'm more awake.
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[User Picture]From: mrissa
2014-03-09 03:31 am (UTC)
Brains indeed. I sympathize.
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