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State of the Mris Report: After the Great Restenating - Barnstorming on an Invisible Segway [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Marissa Lingen

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State of the Mris Report: After the Great Restenating [Feb. 2nd, 2012|06:54 pm]
Marissa Lingen
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So. I have just had a lovely squash crepe with a spinach salad on the side, and I am not quite ready to dive back into the story I'm trying to finish. Seems like a reasonable time to recap.

Yesterday was the first day in 16 that I was not Having An Official Rest. There was significant enforced resting before that, too, but I was doing serious, serious rest in that period. No cooking, no errands, no laundry, no chores, no writing, no nothing.

It was extremely good for me in some interesting ways. One of the rules was that I could write down new things (ideas for stories or snippets towards stories I already had) but could not pursue them. After the first two days, that started happening a lot. Not working on old ideas made my brain go, "Oh, not those? Okay, how about this? Or that? Or this other thing here?" And that was extremely good for me, and I think a lot of those ideas are going to be solid and interesting and good.

I also feel a lot less exhausted--I can watch a DVD at 8:00 p.m. and not fall asleep, is the main example I've been giving people for the less-exhausted. Eight hours of sleep in a night is feeling a lot closer to enough, which was my standard before the vertigo started acting up lo those many years ago. Dealing with vertigo is extremely tiring, and I will probably need to take rest periods like this sometimes as long as I am.

What the rest did not do: it did not affect the vertigo. Not even a little bit. If you'd seen me yesterday trying to stand by the kitchen counter to cut an avocado...the swaying really alarmed timprov, and he's been seeing the vertigo-related stuff for years now.

What this means: things have been getting bad enough again that I will have to go back on a med with significant side effects. I am not thrilled with this, but it helped last time, it will probably help this time, and I'm just not safe like this. The falls, the near-misses...they're not safe. So I need to deal with the side effects.

One of my friends was praising my patience with this today, and it's not that I'm patient. It's that the impatient bits don't do anything. They don't help. So there's not a lot of sense in expressing them, because they don't go anywhere. Makes a lot more sense to talk about books, or that soup I'm trying to figure out how to make, or what hilarious and wonderful thing my godson said last week. But I said I was doing this rest thing, so I figured I should let you know how it went.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: wshaffer
2012-02-03 01:53 am (UTC)
I'm glad that the rest was good for you, and sorry that it didn't help the vertigo.

And yay for new story ideas!
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[User Picture]From: redbird
2012-02-03 01:54 am (UTC)
Thanks for the update, and I'm sorry it's not better news.
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[User Picture]From: matociquala
2012-02-03 02:32 am (UTC)
*loff*
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[User Picture]From: hobbitbabe
2012-02-03 02:45 am (UTC)
One of the rules was that I could write down new things (ideas for stories or snippets towards stories I already had) but could not pursue them. After the first two days, that started happening a lot.

That part is really cool. It reminds me of some of the exercises that helped me from The Artist's Way, like the one about not reading or watching TV for a week and the one about finishing or getting rid of old projects.
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[User Picture]From: mrissa
2012-02-03 02:49 am (UTC)
I sometimes find it useful to sort through my unfinished projects and put some in the sub-folder of my trunk labeled "Fragments" and finish others.

But for me, it's important not to prune too enthusiastically. Mike Ford once compared unfinished projects to the nurse logs of the forest ecosystem, and I think that clearing my forest floor of all of them would probably not work well.

On the other hand, finishing stories that are nearly there before I start into a big novel project is a very good idea.
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[User Picture]From: hobbitbabe
2012-02-03 02:54 am (UTC)
That's a really good point about leaving some of them to marinate or fertilise or whatever.

One of the lessons that I learned from knitting and have now applied to work and writing and various other creative pursuits is that I actually make more progress when I have several projects on the go than when I only have one.
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[User Picture]From: mrissa
2012-02-03 02:56 am (UTC)
Oh, very much so. Things of different voice and style, things of different length and type: all of it helps give me an "in" to work on something regardless of how I'm doing.

The nice thing about novels is that I often find Chapter 2 of a novel and Chapter 17 of the same novel to be very different work experiences, so while they're closer than even linked short stories, they're farther away than different scenes in Chapter 2 from each other.
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[User Picture]From: elisem
2012-02-03 05:19 am (UTC)
Yeah, there are some useful and synergetic aspects to the "Forward in all directions!" approach.

Mris, sorry about the stupid vertigo. Glad about the less exhaustion though.
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[User Picture]From: swan_tower
2012-02-03 08:13 am (UTC)
One of my friends was praising my patience with this today, and it's not that I'm patient. It's that the impatient bits don't do anything. They don't help. So there's not a lot of sense in expressing them, because they don't go anywhere.

kniedzw sometimes looks at me like I'm crazy, when I say things like this. But as far as I'm concerned, that makes Total Sense.

Anyway, I am glad the rest helped, but sorry it didn't help in the more central way. Fingers crossed that you find a good way to mitigate the side effects.
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[User Picture]From: ckd
2012-02-03 02:45 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
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[User Picture]From: tiger_spot
2012-02-03 04:30 pm (UTC)
it's not that I'm patient. It's that the impatient bits don't do anything. They don't help. So there's not a lot of sense in expressing them, because they don't go anywhere.

Yes, that. My partners were telling me recently that I should complain more. I figure, when I have expressed my unhappiness once, it's done being expressed and I should just get on with being sick/injured/whatever and not go constantly reminding myself about it. Because, yes, it doesn't help. If it helped I would be complaining all over the damn place.

I am glad that you are rested, and sorry that you're going to have to deal with the side effects again. Boo, side effects.
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[User Picture]From: mrissa
2012-02-03 05:56 pm (UTC)
Well, there are times when I deliberately express frustration or unhappiness because I feel like the other people around me need an update of sorts, and "Yep, still frustrated; more focused on the cake for Moo's birthday, though" is useful data. But even then, it probably comes out lower-key than I entirely expect.
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[User Picture]From: chinders
2012-02-03 09:29 pm (UTC)
To be fair, we were saying that because you not complaining was giving us a skewed perception of how well you were.
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[User Picture]From: tiger_spot
2012-02-03 10:37 pm (UTC)
But I'd said I didn't feel well. Earlier the same day, even.

This is like that thing where I have to raise my voice or Andres doesn't believe I'm upset, isn't it?
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[User Picture]From: chinders
2012-02-03 10:45 pm (UTC)
Very similar.
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[User Picture]From: chinders
2012-02-03 10:47 pm (UTC)
I think the real problem here is that you're using XML to indicate your feelings, so you're all "but I didn't say !" (or , or whatever) whereas other folks are using some kind of packet-exchange method where we're like "I feel this now. Please ACK."
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[User Picture]From: chinders
2012-02-03 10:47 pm (UTC)
Markup fail! Let's try again.

I think the real problem here is that you're using XML to indicate your feelings, so you're all "but I didn't say < / sick >!" (or < / like >, or whatever) whereas other folks are using some kind of packet-exchange method where we're like "I feel this now. Please ACK."
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From: thoughtdancer
2012-02-03 06:07 pm (UTC)
Stating the obvious, but I've really come to hate your vertigo.

I would have long gone off into the myriad maze of madness [that alliteration's so bad it's lovely] from just the frustration.
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From: lynnal
2012-02-03 08:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the update. I've been thinking of you and wondering how it was going. The image of getting to stay home with my feet up reading for a week sounds really appealing to me from my 40-hour a week plus other committments vantage point. I am certain it is much less fun when imposed from outside. There is nothing that makes a person want to do something so much as being told not to. I hope that you will at least get the satifaction of getting to do some of those things again.

I am really sorry that the rest time had no effect on the vertigo. That really sucks. I hope you find a real solution soon.
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[User Picture]From: chinders
2012-02-03 09:28 pm (UTC)
Sorry to hear that the vertigo has not improved. I'm sending thoughts of good balance and minimal side effects your way.
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[User Picture]From: careswen
2012-02-03 09:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the update. I'm sorry that it wasn't helpful in the primary way that you had hoped that it would be helpful. I'm glad that you still gain some useful data/experiences out of it in other ways, especially in the department of how to keep yourself properly-rested. I'm sorry that it didn't prevent the frustration of having to go back on the medication that you were hoping to avoid. I remain hopeful that something goes right, and as always willing to help make it right in any way that I can.
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[User Picture]From: pameladean
2012-02-04 07:46 pm (UTC)
Stupid vertigo. Cannot take a hint even applied with a two-by-four.

I'm very glad about the insights you have had and about the significantly decreased exhaustion.

P.
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