Total TMI speculation: perhaps one could insert the thing and then use the string as a wick, in order to introduce the alcohol thusly.
I have no idea WHY one would do this, outside the realm of pure scientific inquiry, unless maybe absorbing the alcohol in that manner avoids the telltale alcohol on the breath?
I mean, when I were a lass, I heard stories that it was POSSIBLE to absorb LSD by putting the blotter paper in one's eye, but no adequate explanation for why one would choose to do so, and, AFAIK, nobody ever did. It was just one of those bits of trivia.
I can see the party now. Everyone is sitting around with their pants down on bedpans filled with vodka, waiting for a tiny fraction of the vodka to creep up the string. "I think I feel something," one guy yells.
That is so much easier than just drinking it.
...vodka soaked gummi bears? Does gummi even absorb liquid? As you say, the physics of this really don't hold up past the "fevered imagination" stage of thought.
Yes, gummi does absorb liquid--- if you leave a gummi bear in the water for a couple hours it can double in size. Plus get soggy and slippery, making it totally unsuitable as a stealthy alcohol-delivery device. But it might also just dissolve.
(Vodka jello shots exist; I would think that makes for a far more plausible stealth-vodka-in-school mechanism.)
If you have vodka and you want to get drunk, why would you soak a tampon in it and shove it up your ass rather than, you know, drinking it?
Not to mention all your other objections, such as the fact that once its soaked, it can't be shoved up the ass! They're intended to be shoved FIRST, soaked SECOND.
Vodka burps are more conspicuous than vodka farts?
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I'll tell you what--the teenagers I know, via my own? Pretty much, if they want to drink the vodka, they are just going to drink it.
Didn't there used to be a thing about teenagers dissolving aspirin in CocaCola to get drunk/high?
And on moral panic about The Young more generally, in 1961 in the UK it was chimerical yellow golliwogs
What the hell ... what the hell. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL
2011-11-20 07:25 pm (UTC)
This is the best part
"We talked about it at our last meeting," said Ann Lindberg, chemical health coordinator for the West St. Paul-Mendota Heights-Eagan School District in Dakota County. "I'm sure it is happening here to some degree. We just haven't caught anyone at it yet."
If it's bad, oh mercy, those kids are doing it. We just haven't ... caught them yet. But they are doing it for sure! No, really -- they are.
I <3 this post so much. Well said.
I'm going there with you. Imagine a vodka-soaked tampon. Now imagine an anus. Imagine inserting the giant, wet cotton ball in the anus. Yeah, it's not going to work. I hate it when journalists don't check stuff, or make statements in articles that are not backed up by the sources they cite or quote. It's like they think if they have sources cited and quote, and then they also make assertions of fact in the text, that no one will notice that there is nothing backing up their facts. But me! I notice!
2011-11-20 08:08 pm (UTC)
I'm a family physician in Norwalk, Ohio. Our local hospital does a community health assessment every five years or so, and a booklet with the current findings was just published in September. They did anonymous surveys of teenagers and discovered that some of them were putting alcohol-infused tampons up their rectums. So it apparently really does happen and is not just a local Twin Cities phenomenon.
The teens in Norwalk said they were doing it to prevent their breath smelling like alcohol, though I'm not sure that makes sense. I think alcohol gets partially metabolized by the lungs, the products of which you breathe out? That's how breathalizers work. It makes more sense to me that the Star Tribune has it right and alcohol going through the rectal mucosa hits the bloodstream faster.
The overwhelming thing is the way the Star-Tribune is treating unsubstantiated rumor as fact. It's not anything like an innocent mistake. They want the (respectable, adult) readers of the newspaper to enjoy the thrill of regarding teenagers with fear and contempt.
Oh, it's not just teenagers, they do that with everything.
I'm actually sort of surprised it wasn't a vodka-soaked newspaper. At least that would improve their circulation.
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!elventy!1
I recall a huge article about this deadly new drug called ice that was going to be the scourge of everything back in the 70s. Yup.
Please correct me if I am wrong, but regardless of the viability of the method of delivery, wouldn't exposing mucus membranes to a fairly high concentration of alcohol result in a rather un-mild stinging sensation?
One would think so. I mean, the last time I swabbed a paper cut with rubbing alcohol it was Not Fun, and when I try to scale that up from a cut half a centimeter long by less than a millimeter wide to something with the general area of the mucous membranes in question my eyes get crossed just thinking about it.
2011-11-20 09:49 pm (UTC)
Very bad journalism: check.
Possibly teens freaking the
mundanes adults: check.
Apparent technical difficulties: check.
Already mentioned, but something that should be spread around among people thinking of applying alcohol rectally: it's absorbed much faster. That means that an amount of alcohol that you can chug down and survive, can kill you if delivered as an enema. (The quantity a tampon will absorb isn't at that level; but once people are talking about this new way to get drunk, they need to know this. And regardless of whether or not they were before, they will be now. With luck, not doing anything about it; but talking about it.)
I think the Strib is desperate for Important Stories That Horrify People And Sell Newspapers. They've been flogging the stories about synthetic cannabis for some time now. Since nothing else is happening, like major nationwide protests or widespread poverty or police brutality, they have to find something to print. /snark
Well, but with the synthetic drug stories, they have actually been able to find people to say, "Yes, I use that," or, "Yes, I sell that," or, "My child ODed on that." I was actually thinking of those stories, because those are the stories they write when they can find even a few actual people with experience in the matter. And this...wasn't even to that level.