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To the gentleman in the library parking lot - Barnstorming on an Invisible Segway [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Marissa Lingen

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To the gentleman in the library parking lot [May. 31st, 2011|03:17 pm]
Marissa Lingen
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Dear Sir:

If, by some horrid mischance, you find that you have exited the privacy of your home or motor vehicle without fastening the fly to your trousers, one can easily see that you would wish to remedy this situation as soon as it became apparent to you. You may not have noticed while you walked across half of the parking lot; that is understandable.

However, reaching for your crotch and grinning sunnily and lengthily at me while taking a leisurely approach to attending to it is not what we call Minnesota Nice. There are times when a friendly smile and eye contact are truly not called for. This is one.

Aaaaaaagh,
mrissa
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: chinders
2011-05-31 08:41 pm (UTC)
What.
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[User Picture]From: mrissa
2011-05-31 08:50 pm (UTC)
This is not the day week month decade for more unpleasant nonsense directed my way, I feel.

Clearly I am biased, though.
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[User Picture]From: chinders
2011-05-31 10:06 pm (UTC)
Seriously! I think you need to be more open to the needs of people who are directing this nonsense at you. It's vitally important that they do whatever they fell like doing, all the time. You're just being inconsiderate.
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[User Picture]From: apis_mellifera
2011-05-31 08:56 pm (UTC)
Ew yuck gross. I hope you had a nice unicorn chaser afterwards.
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[User Picture]From: pnkrokhockeymom
2011-05-31 09:42 pm (UTC)
I am agog and aghast.
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[User Picture]From: miz_hatbox
2011-05-31 10:08 pm (UTC)
Truly icky.
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[User Picture]From: freelikebeer
2011-05-31 10:40 pm (UTC)

I must be growing up...

I can't bring myself to make the obvious joke.
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[User Picture]From: mrissa
2011-05-31 10:42 pm (UTC)

Re: I must be growing up...

Grown-ups very much welcome here.
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[User Picture]From: cakmpls
2011-05-31 11:28 pm (UTC)
Aw, heck, let's give him the benefit of the doubt, and figure he was so embarrassed he didn't know what to do. Uh...he didn't take anything out, did he? ("Anything," Carol? Like what, hamsters?)
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[User Picture]From: moiread
2011-06-01 12:09 am (UTC)
Hamsters are still relatively small and pigmented in the same shades as human skin. Given the right skin tone and the right hamster to go with it... Let's just say I wouldn't stop to find out why it was wriggling in his hand, yeah?

Instead, if we're going for anything, I vote for GIANT MICROBES. I would think much better of some dude who giggled and pulled the common cold out of his pants. (Still not sure I'd think well of him, but certainly better than I think of Mr Grab Your Groin And Grin.)
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[User Picture]From: haddayr
2011-06-01 02:38 am (UTC)
Okay I'm on my second gin and tonic but I still think I would have peed a little, reading this.
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From: diatryma
2011-06-01 03:55 am (UTC)
I cannot even envision this, that is how What The Hell it is.
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[User Picture]From: jamiam
2011-06-01 02:06 pm (UTC)
AaaaaaaGGGHHHHHhhhhH!
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