Scientific American had a blurb for The Secret History of the Mongol Queens: How the Daughters of Genghis Khan Rescued His Empire, which sounds awesome to me, so I went to see if our library had it. I typed in "Secret History" in the title field, on the theory that it would amuse me to see what things had "The Secret History of" at the beginning of their titles, and I might want to read the secret history of manhole covers or rat traps.
The library's webpage gave me a page of gibberish characters I've never gotten as an error message before, and now it's pouting and refusing to let me log in at all.
Apparently There Are Some Things Man Is Not Meant To Know, or, more to the point, Some Things Man Is Not Meant To Check Out From The Library. Cue creepy music here.