1. If you keep changing the channels for long enough, something good will come on.
2. When you find out what you're good at in this world, stick with it, work hard, and don't let anybody convince you to quit.
3. When drinking a milkshake through a straw, you get three slurps. Four slurps is just rude. Two slurps means you're probably not enjoying the milkshake enough.
4. With enough determination and hard work, any dance can become a polka.
5. There is no substitute for good streudel.
6. There is no substitute for good time with your family.
7. If someone asks you to pass a plate and you want something on it, shout, "Shortstop!" and take some.
8. If you tell a story well enough, it's just as funny the hundredth time as it was the first.
9. It never hurts to ask questions, and sometimes you find out really interesting things that way (like how helicopters are constructed or how to tie a knot in a bandana so it'll hold all your worldly goods).
10. Be patient. Not only is it a virtue, it lets you win every single time at touched-you-last.
I never did win. Uncle Rudy always touched me last.
(For people outside my family: touched-you-last was Uncle Rudy's nearly-stationary version of tag.