Marissa Lingen (mrissa) wrote,
Marissa Lingen

wrong kind of doughnut

Tomorrow is One Year Closer to Balance. One year anniversary of the first PT consult.

You guys, I'm trying to do well with this. I'm trying to be positive and make it a fun thing with other people and not wallow.

It is hard. It is really, really hard. There are things we aren't doing that we might do if this was permanent, but it's not permanent. So it's been a whole year of limbo, with more limbo ahead. I am putting the effort into being upbeat and diligent and all of those things. It is exhausting. Someone recently suggested that coping mechanisms are like the doughnut in your car: you're supposed to drive on it the few miles to the station to get the tire replaced. You're not supposed to take it on a road trip.

I have driven several thousand metaphorical miles on this doughnut, and I am tired, and the metaphorical scenery looks remarkably like Iowa in soggy cold March when you forgot to pack any Paul Simon albums and the gas stations are all out of Toffifays.

I don't want you to think I'm not going to put the effort into being positive about this, because I am. It's just...a lot of work right now.

E-mails welcome.
Tags: stupid vertigo

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