Marissa Lingen (mrissa) wrote,
Marissa Lingen

Open Letter, Number Thirty Million Or So

Dear Hosiery Company:

Please examine your sizing chart. You will notice that "small" goes up to 5'5". This is well and good: women shorter than I am should be able to buy tights. You will also notice that "medium" goes down to 135#. This is also well and good: women heavier than I am should also be able to buy tights. Here's my theory, though: I should be able to buy tights.

Could you not manufacture tights in additional combinations of height and weight? Or could you not build that much more stretch into your smalls so that they will go up not-proportionally-that-long 5'6" woman legs, rather than being the ever-popular low-rise tights and causing me to worry that they will slip over the widest part of my hips and make a break for it at any moment? One's tights ought never to make a break for it. This is a rule of life. Nor ought they to be baggy upon their removal from the package. The ever popular wrinkled-elephant ankle is not "in" for this season.

I just thought you should know. I don't really expect that you'll do anything about it.

Yours Wearing SmartWool Socks,

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