Marissa Lingen (mrissa) wrote,
Marissa Lingen

Sleep and birthdays and oddness

Hurrah for a decent night of sleep! Finally. First one since we left for California. Still more wobbly than my current norm during the days, still finding PT exercises more difficult than usual, but sleep! Sleep is something. Something good, even. Highly recommended, sleep. All the best people do it from time to time.

And it was just in time for markgritter's birthday, too. Good timing, sleep! I tried telling some of our friends that we were not having a birthday party for markgritter this year, and one of our friends (who shall remain dlandon) thought I meant we were not having a birthday party, we were just having this totally casual thing with cake where people brought presents and stuff. And everybody else present thought this was not just a totally reasonable interpretation but the totally reasonable interpretation. I love how we've gotten these people to the point where "we're not having a party" doesn't really compute, and they get ready to come to our not-a-party. Which will have lots of fruit and cheese and cake. That's training one's friends well, that is.

(Seriously, though. No party. Maybe a random we-like-Mark party later, when we're feeling a bit steadier on our feet.)

(Do not pity him. He gets tapas.)

One of the odd things about being mired in vertigo and PT for this long is that my sense of time is off. Another is that I am distrusting my control of tone in a lot of interpersonal interactions. I verbally rolled my eyes at an old friend today online, and I felt sure that my friend would cope and verbally roll their eyes back, because we've gone round and round on this general issue before, and nobody has taken their marbles and gone home yet. (That would require either of us to find our marbles, possibly. But I digress.) But when something hurts my feelings or upsets me in the last few months, I've been really unsure that I will be able to bring it up in a fair and reasonable way (as opposed to, "You hurt my feelings and I have verrrrrrrtigooooooo, waaaaaaaaah"), so I've been keeping my mouth shut instead of being quiet and polite and firm about stuff like that. This is perhaps suboptimal on all counts, as I'm pretty sure my near and dear (and even my distant but cordial) are not keen on increased likelihood of touching unknown sore spots in the same spot multiple times. I'm also aware that by bringing it up as a general problem in an lj entry -- even though it is a general problem and not specifically that greykev has been going around telling people that my feet smell like elephant farts and I'm trying to weasel out of facing him about it -- I may be making people nervous about talking to me at all, which is the last thing I want. Uff da. Sometimes a sense of social/conversational fair play is a bit oppressive.
Tags: mark, social fail, stupid brain tricks, stupid vertigo

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