Marissa Lingen (mrissa) wrote,
Marissa Lingen
mrissa

Legs and ears

I am just about as femmey as it comes, but occasionally I trip over something where I have an attitude a lot more common to men than to women in the culture in which I live. One of the ones that bothers me on other people's behalf is about evaluation of bits of body. I do not think of my legs primarily as pretty or attractive for what I suspect are the same reasons my dad doesn't think of his legs primarily as pretty or attractive: because we have another thing that's primarily what we think of legs for. The primary axis of evaluation is strong. I have strong legs. When I want to hike or bike, I have Energizer bunny legs. One of the reasons I like to walk down to the river and back at Minnehaha Falls when I'm feeling steady is that I really like bounding up the steps two at a time from the field at the end. It is a cheering thing for me. I'm not offended when someone thinks my legs are in some way attractive -- it's nice, sure, when handled in a non-smarmy way and etc. But it's not the main thing. (And I like being able to post to an audience that won't take this paragraph as a request for compliments.)

I bring this up because the doctor this morning commented on how strong my legs and feet are and how much I use them for balance, how many more times (she speculated) I would have fallen if my legs were not so strong. And I was proud of that. Of all the stuff related to this stupid, stupid vertigo, it is the one factor I could control directly, and I have controlled the living daylights out of it. Even when it was non-trivial to come up with ways to keep working out and stay reasonably strong, I did it. And the professionals involved seem to think it was worthwhile. They seemed to think that it had served me well. Hah. Take that, vertigo.

So it's the semi-circular canals of my ears that are messed up (causes not really knowable, but they suspect the evil sinus infection from the Year Of Sick interacting with a prior susceptibility, and that makes sense), and I start physical therapy for it next week, and we are all to be prepared that the PT may make things worse before it makes them better. But still. Something to try, something that they think will work, though they can't say how soon. Something that will probably involve organized, controlled application of stubbornness.

Yah. We can do that.
Tags: stupid vertigo
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