Marissa Lingen (mrissa) wrote,
Marissa Lingen

Silver linings

I know that some people express affection in part by bickering, and some people need to blow off steam directly to the people around them fairly often. I'm not in either category. So fighting with someone close to me is a pretty big deal, and there's always a wave of immense relief when I've weathered my first major disagreement with a new friend on the subject of something near and dear to both of us (or worse, something near and dear to only one of us). It's not something I seek out, because I always feel so awful about the argument in the first place, but knowing that a friendship is at least a little sturdy, at least somewhat able to weather a storm, is a good thing, a good result from a bad thing.

I have recently discovered, though, that I can have that good result without having a direct conflict. I feel very similarly about friendships that have weathered other kinds of stress, even sometimes the kinds that don't bear on me very directly. There are several of my friendships that have felt, after the last few months, as though they've been made stronger by adversity. I don't believe in "that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger" -- but a lot of important friendships in my life have had stuff going on around them that makes me feel like maybe it's a little bit true. And I've gotten to skip the "fighting with my friends" part, mostly, and that's something, I guess.

I don't know. I think this is mostly one of those times when I'm here saying, hey, I appreciate you people. Some of you people I appreciate a lot. I would happily do without any further stresses on anyone near and dear to me, but hey, I'm glad you're still here through the ones you've had. I'm glad I'm still here with you. That's what.
Tags: my friends rule

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