Marissa Lingen (mrissa) wrote,
Marissa Lingen


palinade asks:
1. Do you confront passive aggressive people and call them on their passive aggression?
It depends. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I roll my eyes and go on with what I was doing, as though I am unaware of what they were trying to do. Occasionally I even sympathize with the motives that make someone passive-aggressive. Very occasionally.

Sometimes indirect communication gets confused with passive-aggression by outside parties. There is much to be said for indirect communication. Many things can be happily sounded out without being directly spelled out. Not everything requires a picture drawn. Not the same thing, but perhaps part of the same set of cultural cues/assumptions around here. I'm more willing to put up with Minnesota passive-aggressive bullshit if it means I can have indirect communication as well (on separate occasions, preferably). And I sometimes prefer passive-aggression to in-your-face screamy aggression.

One guy I know was griping about Minnesotans and their "unhealthy" politeness and passive-aggressive behavior, and he was on and on and on about how he preferred how New Yorkers got in each other's faces and yelled. I thought, "You only think that because I am not currently in your face yelling, jackass." It's very easy to say that confidently when there isn't some 6'4" broad-shouldered fellow named Lars bellowing at you two inches from your nose. Passive-aggressive isn't usually the right way to go, but it's certainly better than some options.

2. How do you feel about people who do confront the passive aggressive?
Depends. If it's a minor point where the confrontational person could just as easily go on doing their own thing anyway, I sometimes roll my eyes at both parties. If someone is being totally irrationally passive-aggressive, I wonder why they bother or what they hope to accomplish with it. But in the middle ground, I'm glad to see them do it.

3. How gray are your shades of gray? (or grey)
Fairly colorful, actually. One of the things about not being into total orderings is that it means there are all kinds of things I don't see on a scale of black, white or grey but with blues and reds and yellows, to extend the metaphor to its breaking point.

4. Honey, sugar, sucralose, or the pink envelope?
I use honey and sugar for different things. They are not at all interchangable, but both are good. Especially brown sugar. Total sucker for the brown sugar.

If we're talking about putting in hot tea, I occasionally put honey in my chamomile or lemon chamomile, which is what I drink preferentially for hot teas. If someone is serving me a decaf black tea, I put milk and sugar in.

5. Mead, wine, or beer?
I have never tried mead. This is not by design, so if any of you would like to feed me mead, go for it.

Wine, definitely. Girly wine. White or otherwise girly-fruity (the raspberry infusion I had last night is darkly colored but doesn't really taste like a red). Or hard lemonade or cider. Beer only the direst of circumstances, and even then only Guinness. I have had approximately three Guinnesses in my life. Maybe four. Which is more than I've had of all other beers total, combined, so that tells you about me and beer.

greykev asks:
1) What is your ideal vacation?
Vacation. Hmm. Because right now I would love to go to Helsinki or hike across Iceland, but I'm not sure those would end up being vacations so much as tours. I'd like to stay somewhere in the Ålands, though. I think that could be close enough to various interesting things that we could wander across to them some days, but also it's the sort of place one could just curl up with a book.

When I was little and we passed the Ålands on the ship from Stockholm to Helsinki, I thought it would be just about perfect to have all of one's friends on a chain of islands. Then everyone would be (physically) close to each other, but it would take some effort to see each other, and there were days you could guarantee you would be left alone.

2) If you could totally redo (redecorate, redesign, etc) one area of your home which would it be and what would you do with/to it?
We're in the middle of redecorating Mark's office/the guest room. Mostly we need to paint it grey-blue. Don't know when that will happen. I wouldn't choose it with the magic wand, though, because that seems like a waste of a magic wand wish.

I'd probably either pick the master bath or the basement. If we stay in this house more than another couple of years, we'll be finishing the basement from, well, an unfinished basement, into...I'm not entirely sure, but more usable space for us and future inhabitants. Open for discussion. The master bath would be less likely to happen, but I know what I'd want to do: grey stone tiles on the floor, grey and white fixtures, a double-wide stand-up shower with multiple showerheads.

3) What type or style of cooking have you wanted to learn but not gotten to?
Hmm. Style of cooking. I don't know, Kev: I think my cooking techniques are pretty sound, and I have confidence in my ability to follow and tweak a recipe at will. I haven't deep-fried, but I don't particularly want to: anything that needs deep-frying can be deep-fried by someone else.

I next intend to experiment with springform pans and water baths, but that's not really so much a type of cooking. It's just mostly for bête noire.

4) Better to walk in: spring rain, fall leaves, deep powdery snow?
Almost too close to call, there. I'm going to go with the leaves, but if you asked me on a different day, it might well be one of the others.

5) You get to recast a movie, any movie. Which would you choose and who do you cast?
Hmmmmm. See, the movies I like a lot go with the people in them, to a fairly high degree: Val Kilmer is Chris Knight to me, and heaven knows I don't like the mid-90s movie of "The Three Musketeers" for its script or its fidelity to the book. ("They left the lackeys out of the movie?" Sometimes I miss the Slacker.)

Total remake, though: I think I'd like to see Jodie Foster do Hepburn's bit in an updated "Desk Set." It would have to be a remake and not just a re-filming of the same script, but I think it could work. One of the actors who can do geeky reliably (Goldblum, say, or the above-noted Kilmer, or God I wish Harold Ramis was still Egon) could do Spencer Tracy's part. I don't even really care who the stupid annoying previous love interest man would be. There are plenty of stupid annoying love interests in Hollywood. It's full to the gills with them; pick one.

I'm not saying I require the geeks to get laid in order to enjoy a movie. But I'm fairly fond of the ones in which they're major and well-done characters, and major characters in Hollywood often get the MoS of their choice.

Bonus question: pick any book other than your own to be optioned for a good movie adaptation.
This question isn't about which authors' financial situations I would gladly improve, is it? Darn. Okay. The problem with this one is that even with Peter Jackson in the world, I'm having a much easier time imagining Hollywood screwing up books than doing them right. The Miles Vorkosigan books would make truly excellent movies if they made truly excellent movies, if you see what I mean. Cordelia's Honor, then. Let's call it that.

More questions later. Join in if you like.

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