This morning I baffled the dog by eating grapefruit: what was that stuff? Was it even food? Why was it going -- ew, ew, ew -- in my mouth? (This very clear attitude from a creature to whom I have had to say, "We don't need to smell that poo," more times than I can count.) She is still returning to me to sniff my breath worriedly every few minutes, in hopes that the effects will have worn off before I decide to drive or something.
I begin to suspect that my main purpose is to confuse the dog and, having done that successfully, I could just go back to bed for the day.
Unfortunately, Ista would regard that as quite sensible behavior, thus undoing the morning's good dog-baffling work. So I will keep writing instead, and run some errands and spend some time with a friend. None of which will baffle the dog quite as much, but we can't spend every moment playing to our strengths, mostly. I mean, even the dog must abandon her strenghts of chewing, snuggling, barking, and running after things in order to eat and drink and be confused by monkey behavior. She's getting better at that last one, at least.