Now watch: everybody I love will have an absolutely stellar quarter of an hour between 3:30 and 3:45 a.m., their local time, and most of them will be asleep, and the ones who are awake will not have reason to notice that they played three perfect games of solitaire, their ice water didn't taste of rust, and the printer didn't jam.
I'm so tired. Almost everyone I know is so tired, too. On the up side, I have more good people to love and worry about than any one woman could expect. That really does count for something.