March 24th, 2010

good mris pic

fake swears

If you've noticed that I haven't been posting to lj much lately, you may have thought that the vertigo was bad, or that I might have been sick, or that I might have been busy with other things, or that I might have been writing a lot of fiction. And in fact any of you who thought any of those things wins the prize: I have been sick, the vertigo has been bad, I've been busy with other things (most of them either fun or long-term satisfying and a fairly large number both), and I've gotten a lot of writing done.

But that's not what I want to talk about today. Maybe later.

No, it's this: I have some new favorite fake swears.

I love fake swears. It's not that I give up real swears for them. And I don't mean euphemisms. When somebody says, "Oh, fu-uummmmm, fudge. Fudge, yes. That is what I meant to say. Fudge. Also shoot," no one is fooled, except possibly the small child who is meant to avoid learning the word in question until it has enough discretion to choose when to use it and when not. No, I mean fake swears like "Oh for the love of Pete!", where it was not intended to come out as something else but there isn't anything particular about the love of Pete that might fit a frustrating situation. I love those. When I'm frustrated or disgusted and say, "Oh, for the love of Pete!", I often giggle and feel better.

My two new favorites that I wanted to tell you about are chicken dishes and flax waffle. the_overqual designed a museum display with some chicken dishes, and he posted to FB about it, and it sounded so frustrated even though he didn't sound frustrated. Chicken dishes. Oh, chicken dishes! I have burnt my tongue on overly-hot cocoa! Chicken dishes! I didn't order tickets in time to see that concert, and it's all sold out! Chicken dishes!

Flax waffle is new today, because I was thinking about what I would have for dinner if timprov is not up and at-'em enough to have a real dinner with me, and we have flax waffles in the freezer, and they're not too bad, could be worse. No good with grape jelly, but never mind, one can't have everything, at least not in a waffle. And then I thought, wow, that's a great sound for an insult. Dude, don't be such a flax waffle. I was going to ask him, but he was being such a flax waffle that I didn't want to bring it up. Look, I'm sorry if I was kind of a flax waffle about this; I'll really try to keep it together more in the future.

I don't know, I just like them.

Edited to add: And then I forgot to mention one of my favorite old ones, which is from Maud Hart Lovelace's Betsy-Tacy books. This came up when someone was unjust to a dear friend: that person can Go Way Back and Sit Down. I like this because it isn't ill-wishing, and it's too specific to be a euphemism for "go to hell." It's not like going to Hartford, Hereford, or Hampshire. It's its own thing: go way back and sit down. Do not forget to sit down when you get there. Yes.
good mris pic

Minicon panel schedule

Here are the descriptions of the panels I'll be on this Minicon. Don't know yet about readings.

Do I Know Enough Science to Write Science Fiction?

What if you were never all that big on science in school, but you love the SF genre and want to break in? How do you educate yourself? Is it possible to learn how to write hard SF by reading lots of hard SF? How much science do you need for the soft stuff? Are there tricks for disguising your lack of knowledge in a way that doesn't make you look incompetent?

Eleanor Arnason, Ben Bova, Rob Callahan, Phyllis Eisenstein, Marissa Lingen, Eric Heideman (m)

Saturday 5:30 PM – Krushenko's

The Flight of the Female SF Author

From Asaro to Zettel, female authors that used to stock the science fiction shelves are now almost exclusively writing fantasy. What are the reasons behind the mass migration? Are there new women coming into the genre, or will our daughters find the SF section filled solely by men?

Kelly Strait, Joan Verba, Marissa Lingen, Betsy Lundsten

Sunday 11:30 AM – Veranda 3/4

(My main motivation for volunteering to be on this panel is to address the living heck out of the last question, both in specific examples and in premise.)

(I turned off comments because I have a lot to say on both of these panels, and I kind of want to keep the discussion on the panel until after it's over with, rather than showing up and saying, "Well, on my lj I said this and so-and-so said this and so-and-so said that okay I'm done someone else's turn.")