March 16th, 2009


(no subject)

Dear invisible friends in the box,

I could really use some e-mail company today, even if it's just to say that your boss is being a jerk or your kid has the flu--or that your boss is great and your kid is fine. I am at Grandma and Grandpa's house alone until middayish, and I think I'm worrying the dog.


"No tears. Enjoy life."

"Money doesn't matter. It's simple random acts of kindness that matter. Scratch the poodle for me."

That's the last set of instructions my grandpa gave me. He died about an hour and a half ago.

In one sense, I'm doing all right. In most senses, I am not even remotely all right. I am much better at dealing with e-mails than with lj comments right now. I prefer to be able to tailor replies to individuals rather than broadcasting to the internet at large.

With more distant relatives, I can write little things about what I remember of them, what they meant to me. The immensity of what my grandpa meant to me will never fit in a post. It's barely fitting in my head right now without breaking me open.