June 21st, 2006

question

Wednesday update and poll.

Yesterday I had much longer periods of non-dizziness (steadiness? we'll call it steadiness), but one of the dizzy periods was bad enough that lying down and closing my eyes was more or less the only option. (Everything. Kept. Moving.) Still, progress. Definite progress.

I am informed that some of my main e-mail has been bouncing. I hate hearing that. If you've had that, too, please either try re-sending, or try sending it to my gmail, or both. Thanks.

I am way behind on sending out manuscripts. I am way behind on everything. And part of the goal for today will be to keep from overestimating the steady periods and pitching forward on my face. I don't like having to make those estimates, but there it is. And at least the drugs they gave me are kicking in, or something. Maybe at some point we can get back to quasi-normal-ish for us. That should be enough qualifiers, right? I hope so.

Substantive entry later, but first: a poll!

Poll #752822 Full of.

What is Mris full of?

Joy
0(0.0%)
Rage
0(0.0%)
Angst
0(0.0%)
Rose-colored girlish dreams
0(0.0%)
Theories
0(0.0%)
Bloody-minded optimism
5(9.3%)
I know you try to keep this a family-friendly journal, but I'll still say "shit" here.
0(0.0%)
I know you try to keep this a family-friendly journal, so I won't say what I'm thinking, which is not "shit."
0(0.0%)
I will say what I'm thinking anyway! in a comment, of course.
0(0.0%)
"But...why is the rum gone?" is supposed to be an answer on all of these, but it sounds suspicious in this context. I say it anyway, however.
4(7.4%)
Breakfast.
0(0.0%)
Beans. Colloquial beans rather than literal beans.
2(3.7%)
Useless information.
0(0.0%)
Tickyboxes.
3(5.6%)
writing everywhere

Focus

I said there'd be a more substantive entry later; I suppose I didn't specify later today. Which is good, because this probably won't be it. I've had a good day in many details -- lunch, dinner, time with markgritter vegetating on the couch, making a pan of brownies -- but I've also had some really intense dizzy spells. Still, dizzy spells beats dizzy days any time.

For a long time, I've been meaning to say that I think focus can be overrated. We're a culture of specialists. "That's not my field" is way too many people's mantra. I sometimes joke (half-joke, at least) that I write spec fic so I never again have to answer the question, "What on earth could you possibly want to know that for?" A really alarming range of stuff can be classified as, "Maybe for a story sometime." And I love that. It's a really good thing. It's good for me internally, and I think it's also good to have people around who can do that.

But part of my being able to say this is that focus has never been a long-term problem for me. I've never had difficulty settling in and doing one thing -- in this case writing -- long enough for it to do some good. For awhile I was able to split hyperfocus into physics, writing, and the broad category of "important people in my life"; I had to drop physics, but there wasn't really any question that it was the right choice for me, either at the time or in retrospect.

Still, every once in awhile I think it might be appealing to have just one project at a time. Just one thing on my mind. Just one set of characters clamoring to have their say. Not having frogs leaping over dinosaur bones and smack into the face of sea giantesses.

It's not going to happen, though, so I might as well enjoy watching them jump.